1.30.2012

Reflections

This past weekend a friend of mine celebrated his 38th birthday! His wife, who is one amazing person, invited us to a fabulous dinner downtown, then drinks, then off to karaoke!  It was a fun, chatty group of 11 and we mingled at New Years and caught up at the party.  At one point, my girlfriend hugged her mother in law and called her mom.  She said "thanks Mom" for making C's birthday so special.  There were table decorations, each balloon had a generous gift card hanging from the string, they paid for dinner, bought drinks and birthday sweets.  It was an all around awesome birthday.  I really enjoyed the dynamics of their family. It reminded me of mine. When she got back down to my side of the table I told her I was jealous of her relationship with her mother in law.  She quickly apologized, (of course not necessary).  I meant I was jealous in an "I will have that the next time around way."

And this is where I lecture you that your childhood is VITALLY important. I NEVER, I can say never because it's true. In all my dating years/marriage to my ex his mother, who is local, NEVER took me to lunch, dinner or came to a birthday or special event.  Nothing.  Zip. Zero.  In fact, if I was dying she might send her prayers but that's about it.  They lived in their own little fantasy world and were not active in my ex husbands life either. Oddly enough, my ex doesn't talk to his only sibling either.   That's why he is the way he is! He doesn't know any better because the cycle has been passed down....and keeps circling around.  So, of course I compensated for this in my marriage and made big deals about birthdays, Christmas, Easter baskets and it was never appreciated because he didn't care, he was conditioned to not care about anything.  Makes me so sad to think about.

So, if you have a fabulous mother in law who does stuff for you and includes you--be thankful.  If she knows your style, sends you cards, thinks about you when she sees something at the store--be thankful.  If she raised her children to be great adults and you married one--be thankful.  If his family accepted you with open arms, treats you as one of their own, loves you dearly and makes a choice to be actively involved in your day to day life--be thankful.

1.29.2012

Kitchen project

Did a little kitchen shopping this weekend and bought all my appliances...and a few extra items!

My best advice to those who want to shop:
* always read Consumer Report for the year and buy models that made it into the top 3. This is guarantee that you will be happier with your product.
* Shop around for said model so you get the best price.
* More $$ doesn't mean a better product!
* Never get the cheapest or most expensive model...middle of the road will suit most everyone's needs.
* Pay cash, ask if it's their best offer, buy what you need, not what you get talked into.

I only like side by side fridges. I can not stand french doors with a bottom freezer. That's just me. So, I got what I wanted. Everything I purchased is top 3 Consumer Reports for a well-built product with the least amount of maintenance, failure, problems, etc.
This Kenmore super sonic dish washer has a top spinner/washer, bottom spinner/washer and now a middle section spinner/washer.  It's a newer concept, so my dishes should be super clean! 

I also bought a matching above the range microwave.  (might as well make it all match)


My laundry room was going to be lonely so I'm going to sell the washer and dryer that is currently in the home on Craigslist and purchased 2  front loading Kenmore LG series washer and dryer.


Because I've done my research (and my Dad too) I waited until this weekend to purchase so I could get a bundle package.  It's  crazy what I walked away with and the savings.  Six appliances, paid for in cash, all connections/hook ups and delivery.  I'd say it was a success!  I also picked out my floors but that is a post for later!

1.22.2012

House Inspired

So, my little, tiny Cape Cod is still in the works...these are some of my inspriational pictures.  I have already purchased my stainless steal appliances; fridge, microwave, gas top stove, and dishwasher. ( It was a thrilling experience picking it all out. I love, love, love, home stores, Lowe's, Sears, decorating centers, etc.)

I want a white kitchen. I know... I know... I used to hate it but this kitchen is tiny and it needs to be white.   I want mine to go all the way to the ceiling to make the room appear larger too.  I like the clean, crisp look of the white and I am entertaining the thought of subway tiles.



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I love the grey and white stripes and my hallway is similar to the upstairs so I am doing this too. ** minus the lighthouse stair  post.


Lastly, my master bedroom is on the first floor and will have mahogany Pergo floor because of the dog. I do not want carpet in the downstairs.  So, I'm thinking a very soft, pale blue with white bedding. I already got my bedding last year!  This is my inspiration room and I love the curtains.


So, these are just a few of my ideas, paint colors, themes, etc. that are currently in the works.  I can't wait to do before and afters!  I also have a big 20x30 deck/patio to work with and plan on having some outside living. 


You asked, I answer!

** I'm going to preface this with these are MY thoughts, opinions and feelings.  I am in no way trying to harm or speak for someone else.  


With that being said, you people asked some good questions, some of you texted some hilarious stuff and I answered you via text.  These 3 questions were good so I'll answer as best I can. Beware, I am wordy.


1. What was the hardest part of getting a divorce? 
The hardest part for me was the realization that no matter how much love I had to give, how willingly I was to accept what I considered morally wrong, how hard I pushed, threatened, promised, cried, you name it, I  tried it.  I tried to save my marriage more than I had ever tried to do anything in my life. My prayers were sincere and deep. I even turned the mirror on myself. What was I doing wrong?  Everyday my stomach was in knots, I had anxiety, I questioned everything and it never got better. I saw things I shouldn't have seen. I felt things that nobody should feel.  I've never failed at anything before. I thought I could fix it, help it, help us.  But, I couldn't erase the past or the pain.  It took a long time to get to that mental state. Then, one day it was enough.  His behavior was a reflection on him. My behavior or reaction is a reflection of me, and i owe it to myself to pay attention to what it has to tell me.  I actually wrote this in a note for him and then threw it away. At that moment I realized my life was too important to waste waiting for someone else's choices, even when it's someone I dearly love. I finally put myself first.


2.  Do you believe in marriage?  
YES, I do believe in the sanctity of marriage. Every.single.friend of mine will tell you I'm the least likely person to end up in my shoes. I whole-heartedly believe in love and marriage.   However, my life was not going to get better in my marriage. A friend of mine said "you can be in a dysfunctional marriage or you can be from one" either way, it's your choice.  Sounds silly, but it's true. I don't think God loves me any less because I got out of my situation.  Maybe I wasn't following Gods plan when I got married. I don't know. I really think the WHOLE process, even the ugly, hurtful, horrible part, made me a much better person today. Just because I experienced what I did, doesn't mean God didn’t bless me. And it doesn’t mean that He didn’t answer my prayers—the answer was just far different from the one that I was expecting. There is a bigger picture that I am unaware of and it's all in his control.  I truly feel like God gave me a second chance.


3. Are you ready to date?
This is a hard question.  I don't think it's fair to put pressure on a new person for an old persons mistakes and weaknesses.  At the same time, I don't think you can ask for something in a relationship if you're not prepared to give it too.  With that being said, I want to be my personal best when I decide to add someone into my personal life.  I've forgotten what it's like to date having been married almost all of my 20's. I'm still not sure how you bounce back when love, as promised, does not conquer all...but I am excited about the possibilities and future. 


I'd like to say that I read a TON of books and have a great relationship with my then marriage counselor, who now helps me individually. She is amazing and I would totally hang out with her if she wasn't my counselor!  I read Courage to Change, Spiritual Divorce, Blink, Bible, and Conscious Dating (it has marriage stuff in it too).  These were all recommended by my counselor and they truly have an enormous amount of helpful information. 

30

I turned 30 on the 30th and my girls threw an amazing 80's prom birthday party!  If you know me, you know I HATE 80's movies and music.  It was totally appropriate and I had the best time!  These girls worked hard. In fact, I happen to know they had a dinner date night without me to organize the whole thing with me in mind.  There was an open bar and Robert made sure they served my favorite amaretto sours,  appetizers, yummy food, and the fabulous Sugar Cake made the hot pink and lime green cupcakes. We ate, danced and relived the 80's!  Laura had a prom tripod and everyone had to take a prom picture under the balloon arch--very crafty!  I do not have all the prom pictures back yet, but here are a few!  They also managed to bring in TV's and Ninendo with a bunch of games so the guys played games all night.  I loved it!
























 Prom King and Queen...this has to be the funniest picture!





Still waiting on the professional prom poses...hehe.  Thanks for a fabulous night girls!

1.18.2012

Where I've been, yada yada

I've been debating on shutting my blog down.  The same people read it know exactly what is going on in my life. Lets face it, I'm not that interesting and I don't do give aways.  For whatever reason I haven't quit, and teeter back and forth on making a decision.  I'm not sure what you want to hear or what I want to say.   




So, people....this is your chance to ask anything about me. I mean ANYTHING is fair game. My life, divorce, love, teaching, boxers, future, thoughts, God, etc.  I'll give you all the details you want to know from my viewpoint.  You can even ask anonymously...just ask.   Is my head too big to think about saying I'll answer the questions in the order that they are received...hehe!?  Don't let me down.




Ask away!  Do it, I'm open and 2012 is the year of change!  

1.10.2012

Birthday Vacation

I hate it when people say they are sooo busy, blah blah blah. But, I am SO busy. I have no time to blog, let alone write details so look through the cruise pictures. In no particular order...enjoy! I'll be back soon as the hype, change, move, life, job, changes, etc. all fall into place!